Let’s be real y’all – dating is no easy feat.
Depending on the dynamic between you and him, the journey can either be the two love birds in fantasyland or a never-ending haunted house visit.
And this time the relationship question is: If a guy asks you to lunch is he interested?
I love this question as I have a real case study that I could share – enjoy!
First thing first, to answer the question: Lunch date IS NOT equal to the friend zone.
At the end of the day, it truly depends on the context and how it plays out.
Disclaimer:
I am not a relationship coach in any form.
I am just giving my two cents here from my personal experience, you don’t have to agree with me and please take all these with a grain of salt x Thanks love.
1. If the first date is a lunch/ coffee date, there’s nothing wrong!
If he asked you for a coffee date as the first date, it’s totally okay.
Especially when you guys meet from a dating app, there are just too many uncertainties around the whole thing.
You don’t know the chemistry and you don’t know whether he or she is a catfish or not.
Imagine if he dated you at a fancy resto at night and you found him awkward and looked completely a different person from the profile pic but the French dinner lasted for a good 3 hours.
That’s a hell.
Plus, I feel really bad if I know I won’t see this guy the second time but seeing him pays for the fine dining $300 bill.
The conclusion?
If it’s your first date, when a guy asks you out for lunch or coffee, it’s actually nice!
He IS interested in you, otherwise, he won’t even try to get out of the talking stage and initiate a lunch with you.
In this case, not asking for a fancy dinner date as a first date doesn’t mean he is stingy or a low-effort person at all.
He is just being reasonable and cautious with all the uncertainties.
So go ahead ladies – don’t overthink, don’t have any expectation, keep it chill and enjoy the first date!
2. The dynamic after the first date
After the first date, things should be very clear.
For men, it only takes several minutes to know if he is interested in you. (I am not talking about whether he is committed to being with you, I am talking about the chemistry and interest level)
If he is interested in you, he naturally wants to invest more resources (time and money) in you and spend time with you and know you more.
Of course, everyone has their own pace.
For some guys, they might be slow to warm up and ask you for dinner after the third or fourth date.
But in my case, after the first date, the guys will usually ask me for dinner or spend time during the weekend.
3. Not a high interest level (Not friendzone tho)
Okay ladies, story time.
I met a guy back in January this year and now we’ve been out for 6 times in total already.
He is definitely a slow-paced person and not the romantic type.
Despite the fact that we don’t chat often during text, we are always happy together during our dates and I am looking forward to seeing him again.
For the last date, he drove me to an amusement park, had a Spanish dinner afterward, and drove me back home safely.
And after two weeks, he asked me out again, but here’s what he said
“Free to have lunch during weekdays?”
Well, that’s not a good sign.
Obviously, his interest level has declined and he didn’t want to invest as much time and money as before.
In this situation, this lunch date means he is not interested enough to spend a weekend night with me but still somehow interested in keeping me in his dating pipeline.
In other words, he is unsure about me for some reason.
I did feel disappointed cause I do like him more than the other guys, but I do respect that as dating is a discovery phrase.
He can pull out the resources if he feels like it and at the same time, we as the women can decide whether you accept this change of dating behavior as well.
I remember when I asked him in the phone call “Don’t you think weekday lunch is too rush? We can just meet 1.5 hours and you have to go back to work.”
“I think a quick 1.5-hour meeting is fine.” He said.
In this case, I said no to him.
I do like him but at the same time, I think I deserve a date night.
If a weekday lunch date is all he wanna do, I’d say no.
4. A male coworker asked for lunch
And when it comes to the workplace dynamic, that can be slightly different.
If a guy asked you for lunch (just you and him), I’d say the chance is 50/50.
Chance A: He is just being friendly and feels like chatting with you is fun. (Especially when the lunch conversation is about gossiping his boss/ team – he wants to have lunch with you for emotional support perhaps)
Chance B: If he kindly offers to pay for the lunch and ask questions about you, he might be romantically interested in you.
After all, office romance is something that has to be handled carefully.
Even if a male colleague likes you, he might not ask you for dinner straight away as that can be too obvious.
If you reject him, it can be a little bit embarrassed as you guys might still meet in the office.
So yes, for the office setting, a lunch date is a good sign!
5. Don’t have too many assumptions
Ladies, we all know how much we can overthink.
I think there’s a concept we have to keep in mind.
Dating IS NOT EQUAL to being in a relationship, rather, it’s the discovery stage.
If we have too much expectation towards someone, we turn out to disappoint ourselves and that’s not fair to the counterparty as well.
If there’s a shift of energy from your date (i.e. always take you for a dinner date but now asking for a lunch date), you can casually ask them “Oh wow – you seem busy. What you up to for the weekend then?”
You might be surprised that it’s not what thought.
There’s a chance that he was in his peak season during work and he tried his best to squeeze his time to meet you.
But that said, the chance is rare.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
So there you go my loves – this is my thought when it comes to lunch dates.
Lunch dates don’t mean friendzone – it really depends on the progress and dynamic between you and him.
But at the end of the day, I’m sure you already have your interpretation in mind – let’s not forget woman’s instinct never fails.
I’d say do what makes you feel good.
Regardless of how many people’s opinions you’ve gained, make the decision that makes you feel loved but not wronged. 💖
For more relationship articles, check out these posts down below, see you there loves!
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